ANSWER: Is there a suggested routine format to follow for worship time at home?

Is there a suggested routine format to follow for worship time at home?  I have five children between the ages of 2 and 10-years- old at home.  Melissa.

QUESTION: Is there a suggested routine format to follow for worship time at home?

    You sound as if you have a very lively family! There are no strict routines for worship. Most families will try and find the time that suits them best, and if there is more time for worship in the evening, then they would usually try and have a prayer in the morning, too. Most worship times include a prayer time, a Bible verse or story, an interesting activity, and a song or two, but you can change the order of these to suit the needs of your family.
    The Bible also tells parents in Deuteronomy 6 that they need to teach their children about God as they go about their daily lives. It is important to understand that most of what we do can be worshipful and in His presence, even if it is the simplest household task or humblest act of service. It’s helpful to look for the teachable moments and special opportunities there are in your everyday lives to help your children grow in faith and understanding of God.
    As a parent, there were times when it was useful to have a clear time and pattern for worship, especially when the children were younger. But it’s also useful for you to be gentle with yourself when there are days that don’t go to plan. Worship is an important part of our children’s experience, but so is the experience of God’s grace that you need to know if your own life so you can pass this treasure onto your children. Ellen White said that family worship times need to be brief, full of life, happy, and the best part of the day.
    If you want ideas for your family worships, my book 100 Quick and Easy Worship has lots of ideas that will suit your young family. It links simple and interesting activities with Bible stories, prayer ideas, tips to make worship easier, and a thought and activity to nurture you too.
    Answer provided by Karen Holford, MSc in Family Therapy, MA in Educational and Developmental Psychology, works as the Family and Children’s Ministries Director together with her husband, Bernie, in the South England Conference.


ANSWER: Should we let our five-year-old son participate in communion?

    Should we let our five-year-old son participate in communion? He keeps asking and I don't know what to do.

QUESTION: Should we let our five-year-old son participate in communion?

    Our church does have a dilemma when it comes to children and Communion. We say we practice open Communion and that people from other churches who have expressed their faith in Jesus Christ are free to take Communion in our churches. We don’t question their choice about whether or not to take part. However, when it comes to the unbaptized children in our congregations, we are often reluctant to let them participate, in case they take part ‘unworthily’ or without a proper understanding of what they are doing.
    We also need to have an understanding of what Communion means to us as Adventists. It has spiritual significance that connects us with Christ’s sacrifice for us, and it also connects us with fellow Christians, through the service of humility, binding us together as a community of faith.   
    A desire to take part in Communion needs to be seen as part of a bigger picture of discipling our children for Christ, teaching them about His grace and  salvation and His plan for their lives of worship and service together with a community of believers.   
    Each church and family needs to explore the issues about children and Communion for themselves and decide what is best in their community. Here are some thoughts to consider:   
    In the Jewish culture the Passover festival, on which our Communion is based, is open to family members of all ages, and each year the father explains the meaning of the symbols in ways that the children gradually grow to understand. The youngest children are often involved in a pattern of asking questions about the meaning of the Passover, which the father answers. This festival usually takes place within the family home, rather than in the synagogue.
    Children of a very young age can understand that Jesus died to save them from their sins, and that the grape juice and bread is a reminder of all that He has done for us. They may not understand the full meaning and implication of Jesus’ sacrifice, but neither do many adults. The important thing is that the children believe that Jesus is their Savior, and that they accept His sacrifice for their sins. Even children as young as two or three can understand that Jesus died for their sins.
    In some Christian churches people receive the symbols of Communion from the priest or church leader. Each person comes forward to the table and waits their turn to be offered the bread and the grape juice. Children who have not been baptized or confirmed, and those who feel unable to take the symbols, do not hold out their hands to receive the emblems, and the priest will lay his hand on their head and offer a simple blessing instead. This practice means that the children do not feel ‘left out’ as they may do in most Adventist churches, and even the babies are blessed when they come forward in their parent’s arms.    
    Jesus recommended that we all become like little children, who accept matters of faith simply and openly, and urged us not to turn them away from coming to Him. It is interesting to consider what Jesus might say on the topic of whether children should take part in Communion if we asked Him the question today.

Read Matthew 18:1-14 and 19:13-17 and reflect on how the ideas in these verses can guide you and your church as you think about the issues of children and Communion.

  • What are the theologies, or scriptural references, about childhood and Communion that are guiding the discussion in your church?
  • What are the main messages children could take away from their experience of being excluded from, or included in, the Communion service?
  • What are the children’s main reasons for wanting or not wanting to participate in Communion?
  • What are the main reasons other church members give for either excluding or including the children in Communion?
  • What effect will the church’s decisions about children and Communion have on the pastor, other local churches and the Conference administration?

   
    If unbaptized children are allowed to take part in the Communion, at what age will the local church feel this is appropriate, considering that children develop at different rates and what they can understand can vary from child to child? How can this be managed so that it does not create further divisions within the church community? How can an approach to children and Communion be developed that enables families to be free to make the best choice for themselves and their children without the pressure to do something that they are uncomfortable with, or are unsure about?

Alternative ideas for involving children in the Communion service:

  • Children can be included in the Communion service very simply by having unblessed grape juice and unleavened bread alongside the adults, if a church felt that this would be an acceptable option. Some churches also have family footwashing rooms where children can help the adults to wash each other’s feet, and have their own feet washed too.
  • Some parents take a small amount of unleavened bread and grape juice to church on Communion days and let their children eat it very carefully when the adults are eating their portions. They take the time to explain to the children what is happening and why Communion is taking place.
  • Some Christian churches have a family Communion where families can choose to have a larger piece of bread and a glass of juice to share together in any way they feel is appropriate. Families often pray together and bless their children at this time.

    Answer provided by Karen Holford, MSc in Family Therapy, MA in Educational and Developmental Psychology, works as the Family and Children’s Ministries Director together with her husband, Bernie, in the South England Conference.


ANSWER: At what age should you begin having family worship with your child?

    At what age should I begin having family worship with my daughter? She is five months old right now. Also, at what point is she aware of what is being read? Sandi in Idaho.


QUESTION: At what age should you begin having family worship with your child?

    I think you should begin to have family worship with a child as soon as they are born. Even though babies may not understand your words, they can recognize the tone of your voice, see a smile in your face and feel secure in your love. Family worship may be just a few minutes long when your daughter is little. Choose a relaxed time of the day. It may help to keep worship to a similar time each day. Sing the same song each time, such as ‘Jesus loves me this I know’. Read a very short Bible story, just a few lines, from a Bible written for toddlers, and let your daughter look at the bright pictures. Then have a simple and short prayer.
    The most important thing to convey to a young child in family worship is that it is a special, happy and loving moment with Mom and Dad. It needs to be brief and lively, and to stimulate her senses. She will soon be able to sit up and hold objects as you tell a story, or look at a Bible story board book, or shake bells when you sing.
    It is hard to tell at what age a child can understand what is being read to them. If you read a simple picture book over and over again the child will soon become familiar with the pictures and the routine, and enjoy pointing out different objects. Even your child is too young to understand the words, she will give your words meaning from the expression on your face and in your voice and the way you are holding her, which will be just as important as the words until the words begin to have meanings for her. Explore your local Christian bookshop for fun, bright, interactive and sturdy Bible story books. Look for books with flaps, finger puppets, sound effects, and textures to feel. Choose books that you enjoy too, because you may have to read her favorite books over a hundred times!
    It is exciting to be a significant part of a child’s spiritual development. Enjoy becoming a child again, along with her, and rediscover the wonder of God through a child’s eyes.
    Answer provided by Karen Holford, MSc in Family Therapy, MA in Educational and Developmental Psychology, works as the Family and Children’s Ministries Director together with her husband, Bernie, in the South England Conference.